Updated: Apr 16, 2020
I wrote a long blog post about one of my insecurities and then deleted it before I ever even posted it. Insecurities are hard to talk about because they’re all in our head. While something might be glaringly obvious to me, the rest of the world doesn’t necessarily see it, nor do they always see it as a negative thing like I would.
I erased my previous post on insecurity because I didn’t want it to become a pity party, I didn’t want anyone to feel obliged to say “no wayyyy", “I would’ve never noticed!” or “It’s no big deal”.
The reason I originally wrote it is because the photos I took of my outfit that day showcased my insecurity. But when I looked back at it a day later, I felt like I could post the pictures and leave it be, and no one would notice, or care. Why bring up something that really doesn’t matter to the rest of the world?
Then I thought about it: my insecurity doesn’t matter to anyone but me, but having insecurities is a shared human experience. We’ve all experienced that feeling at one point or another, even if presently we’re super body positive or kind to ourselves. At one point, I think everyone feels some self-doubt.
The ironic thing is, is that I don’t think these pictures show you what I’m talking about. Everything looks fine on camera. Sometimes I think photos capture it, sometimes they don’t, sometimes I purposefully cover it up.
My insecurity is my skin. I have super dry skin and really irritated patches that are *glaringly* obvious on certain places on my body. There’s one on my chest, there are some on my arms and occasionally they migrate to my face (my *favourite* is when it’s on my eyelids). So yeah. I don’t like it at all. I think it’s ugly, I know it’s uncomfortable and painful, and it takes up mental space that I wish it didn’t.
My skin is an insecurity that I’ve accepted. It’s one that I don’t think I need to learn to love. I’ve learned to be okay with it, but I also allow myself to dislike it. There are other insecurities that I have that I actively work to change. To be more positive about, to learn to love. But those insecurities are stemming from physical attributes that I have that are unchangeable but also healthy (aka not a condition like my skin issues).
I wanted to write this post to bring up the point that insecurities are normal. Insecurities can be something that you’re learning to love, but they can also be things that you accept not to love. Be kind to yourself and accept your reality (even if you’ve got goals and ambitions to change it).
Now I know this can be really hard to do. And honestly, I have plenty of setbacks dealing my my insecurities too! A couple of weeks ago I had about 3 or 4 people at work notice and ask about my skin directly. And it sucked. I wish I didn’t have to explain why I have scabs and scratches on my neck or why my arms are so red. But at the same time, those people didn’t ask me to hurt my feelings - they asked me because they were curious. They were interested in knowing a little more about me - if we are looking at this in a positive light, I could just be flattered by their interest and concern for my wellbeing!
It’s all about perspective. An insecurity to me could be nothing to someone else. Be kind. Work towards self-acceptance and kindness. You’re great and I hope you have a great day too.